That's Bananas!

Celeb stylist (and Bravo TV star) Rachel Zoe announced she'll be launching her own GOOP-like newsletter very soon. The Zoe Report will feature a "chic variety of accessories, apparel, and other items." Hmm, imitation = flattery, right?

GOOP for You Courtney Love!

"I am a big fan of Gwyneth's GOOP website. I'm trying to do the nourish yourself on the inside thing."—Courtney Love, who was recently diagnosed with malnutrition, is seeking help from her friends Trudie Styler and Gwyneth in New York

Spain in the Neck Headlines

In a recent interview, Gwyneth described how Spain had "become her second home" after she traveled there as a teenager and why she fell in love with the country:

"It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history, and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible," she said.

"Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family. They don't always have their BlackBerrys on."

But of course her comments got twisted in the media storm and were spun as anti-American. Here's a sampling of the hater headlines:

• Are You Bothered by Gwyneth's Comments About America?
• Gwyneth Paltrow disses New York, U.S., people who 'always have BlackBerries on'
• Gwyneth Likes It Everywhere, Except America!
• Gwyneth Paltrow Gushes About Spain
  ["How would we know what to think without Gwyneth Paltrow? Lucky for us, we will never have to try and form opinions without her guidance, since she has a limitless supply."]

¡Ay dios mio! Let's break down her "U.S.-bashing" views, shall we?:

"It is so different from the United States. It seemed to have a history..."

According to good-old Wikipedia, the Iberian Peninsula was populated 1.2 million years ago! U.S. inhabitants, on the other hand, began arriving between 12,000 to 40,000 years ago. I'll take Spain for the historical win, Alex.

"...and the buildings are years and years and years old. Here in the United States an old building is about 17 (years old), and over there it's from 500 B.C., it's incredible," she said."

Okay, I'll admit, Gwynnie is being a bit facetious here. New York's iconic Empire State Building is almost 80 years old. And Taos Pueblo, located in Taos, New Mexico, is believed to be the oldest building in the U.S.; ancient ruins indicate that people lived there nearly 1000 years ago. But considering the Spaniards' ancestors erected structures before Christ, it's not so far-fetched to equate American buildings to teenagers!

"Also, the way people live over there. They seem to enjoy life a little bit more. They aren't running around as much as in New York. They enjoy time with the family."

Sí! Employees in Spain receive 31 days of vacation time. And they take siestas! When's the last time your boss let you take a nap? Plus, according to the latest Happy Planet Index (yes, it's a real thing), Spain takes the 76th spot, while the U.S. trails behind at 114.

"They don't always have their BlackBerrys on."

Let's face it, we're a nation of text addicts, especially in New York, where BlackBerries and iPhones can be found next to the salad forks at any restaurant. And now we're being diagnosed with techie-first century injuries, like "BlackBerry thumb" and "cell phone elbow"!

So, when did GP become a longitude on the axis of evil? If she doesn't eat Freedom fries or wear a flag pin is she less of an American?

P.S. Even Gawker agrees (sorta).

Why In Defense of Gwyneth?

I get why people hate Gwyneth Paltrow: She's beautiful, tall, lithe and privileged.

Given all these things, I kinda hate her, too, but it's not a true hatred; it's absolute jealousy because I am none of those things. So despite it all, I really love Gwyneth, and at the risk of sounding like some half-witted fan girl, I don't get all the hate.

I attended a roundtable with Gwyneth once, for the forgettable Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Now granted she was in a room full of press, but she was very gracious and answered each question thoughtfully. She had recently given birth to Apple and clearly missed her daughter, who she told us was just one floor above us in the hotel we were in just off Central Park South.

When you meet her in person—free of TV-interview snippets that aren't always presented in context—it's clear that Gwyneth has a very dry sense of humor, one I don't think translates well into print. Which is why whenever she talks, people listen (or read), and then they misconstrue.

Take the very idea of GOOP for instance. Paltrow says she launched the site "because I felt like I had a lot of really useful information that I was privileged enough to get, because I have this amazing super, fortunate life," which, fine, comes across as a bit pretentious at first glance, but isn't it also categorically true?

She does lead an "amazing, super, fortunate life" that has allowed her to try things like cupping and do things like travel through Spain in a Mercedes convertible. And because she's decided to extol the benefits of alternative medicine and share her favorite Spanish restaurants with us in a "harmless newsletter that goes out each week," (Gwynnie's own words) she's labeled as "just another frantic entrepreneur hoping to find something to sell," as Virginia Heffernan claimed in a blog post titled, "Leave Us Alone, Gwyneth Paltrow."

Sorry Virginia, but not everyone shares those sentiments.

That's why we started In Defense of Gwyneth. Because it's not Gwyneth who needs to leave people alone, it's people who need to leave Gwyneth alone.