A Dude Does GOOP

Who says GOOP's just for girls? Richard Dorment of Esquire took the "Gwyneth Challenge" (it's a trend!) for two weeks -- detoxing for 7 days, busting a move with Tracy Anderson and visiting an acupuncturist. The results?

"At the end of this two-week experiment, I can report, without qualification or caveat, that I felt very, very good. I was sleeping better. I had more energy. I'd lost nine pounds. (People liked to remind me that this was all water weight and that I'd probably gain it all back, but that's just noise to me.) Revolutionary or not, Gwyneth's way worked, and if it worked for this sinner, it could work for anybody. Case closed."

But, of course, his all-or-nothing approach had some drawbacks:

"I wasn't having much fun. (I like to eat red meat and drink too much at parties. It makes me happy.) I wasn't doing well at work — maybe it's because I was drinking less caffeine, but I was more reserved in meetings and a little slower on the uptake. I was also quite a bit poorer than when I started out. I came to realize that I couldn't live the life I wanted to live while doing all the things Gwyneth Paltrow thought I should do. So for those reasons and a few more, I began slipping back to where I'd started. Now I try to eat more vegetables and spend a little more time in the gym, but I have neither the time nor the resources to commit myself full-time to feeling good. I have other things to do. Like going out to lunch."

Just say no to the KFC, Robert.

P.S. We must admit, his matrix analysis of Gwyneth's goop in GOOP is pretty spot on.